Toilet plan and Planning

Toilet plan and Planning

Swacha Mal mootra visarjan shouchalay installed by Shri Montek Singh Ahluwalia for his special staff with special ‘Excretory’ requirements and facilities with restricted access control through smart cards reminds me of a joke I read in 1964 in ‘Illustrated Weekly of India’. Pardon me if I have not been able to reproduce it. But I have tried my best, though my memory fails me. It goes like this:

During the course of his employment, an employee was transferred from England to Germany. So he made an initial trip to look for a house before he went there bag and baggage. He located a house to his liking and temporarily reserved it for eventual occupation. He requested the lessor  Herr Schmidt for the plan of the house to show it to his wife. Herr Schmidt handed over a plan of the house and expressed his desire that Mrs Smith will like the plan. Those days jets were not yet introduced and travels were very few unlike Monty spending Rs2 lakhs a day on travel alone. There were no e-mails, no twitters, SMS, Cell phone services etc. MrSmith promised his prospective landlord that he would write to him soon.

On reaching England, he showed the plan of the house to MrsSmith who liked it very much. But she found that Water Closets were not marked on the plan, and expressed her desire to get the location and size marked on the plan before she approved it formally.

MrSmith wrote to HerrSchmidt:

Dear Herr.Schmidt,

I am happy that Mrs. Smith likes the house plan. However, we shall be extremely pleased if you describe the WC with respect to the plan of the house and its dimensional details etc.

Very truly yours,

John Smith

Herr Schmidt understood the WC as ‘Walls Chapel’ – a famous chapel near by. He replied:

Dear Mr. John Smith,

I am happy Mrs. Smith liked the plan. As regards the WC, I respond thus:

WC is situated at 12KM distance from the house. You can travel by car/bicycle/omnibus. The WC internal area is 400Sq.Mtrs. lying on a ground having an area of 4000Sq.Mtrs. There is ample space for car parking , bicycles parking. The building is very modern and well designed. The room has modern HVAC (Heating and Air-conditioning ) facilities. The seats are made up of cushion. There is a seating capacity for 400 persons to occupy simultaneously. Children can sit next to their parents. Papers are distributed at the entrance. Interior décor is so good that people from all over the world take photographs. Cameras are allowed while the service is on. Since it is a holy place, people come properly dressed.

Upon receipt of your concurrence I wish to draft the lease agreement. With best regards,

Very sincerely yours,

Woolfgang Schmidt

Jai Bharat